Kate (00:02.223)
Hey, welcome in to Kate McCauley Unplugged. I am so glad you decided to hang out with me today. You made a really good life decision. I wanna talk to you about something that I think is a really big problem with people in general.
Kate (00:25.806)
I think something is happening.
Kate (00:37.646)
When I was in college, it would not be uncommon for me to show up to work on a Friday morning on a July afternoon. When I was in college, it would not be uncommon for me to show up to work on Friday morning in July with a red stamp on my hand from the night before. I had maybe two or three hours sleep. Yes, I had gotten a shower. I actually ate breakfast. I arrived on time to my job.
I did my job the entire day that I was there. I didn't complain. I went through the motions. I went home, talked to my friends on the phone when I got home, and probably did the same thing Friday night. We went out again. And yes, I was young and, you know, we could say, you were young. You could do those things. Okay, fine. Maybe. Maybe it's because I'm older that I'm seeing something happen here. But I think...
something is happening and it's actually happening to the young people who are that age and a little younger and it might even be happening with people who are older and I think we're giving them a pass and we need to stop signing our signature on that pass and saying it's okay and I think what it is is that we're cool with people not having a commitment we're okay with this lack of consistency and it's really hurting
our young people and even our young and older adults in some ways. Here's where I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it with people in the business world. I'm seeing it with athletes. I'm seeing it with friendships. I'm seeing it with just people in general. Let me give you an example. And I'm not saying that you should go out and party every night and get in, you know, to work and all that stuff that I just described.
You know, I was in my early 20s, 23 ish and that's I guess what I did during that time. And to be quite honest, I probably couldn't pull that off right now because when someone says, what are you doing tonight? I probably would say, well, I'm going to be watching TV and looking at Instagram. Maybe there's a snack in there somewhere. You know, I'm not one with the streets. I'm one with the sheets. I'm going to bed, right?
Kate (03:01.102)
I stole that from someone by the way, I saw it somewhere, probably like an Instagram or TikTok thing. I don't know. But really I would not be going out right now and rolling in to work the next day. If I had an event or if I was doing a workshop, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that because I know that I'm not going to have that show up vibe like I would when I was young. So I think maybe as we get older, there's a different level of ability.
to do that because I'm doing so many different things. I'm just exhausted in many ways. I can't pull that off anymore and I didn't have kids then I wasn't as responsible for so many things that I am now. I didn't even have my own house at that time. So so many different reasons why I couldn't pull that off nor do I want to so that's a different topic, but I think even on a lower level there is a lack of
commitment and consistency and we have given people a pass on it.
I know some people are going to get upset with this episode because they're going to say, well, Kate, you left a job and you tell people all the time it was so bad for your mental health. And don't get me wrong. It was it was insane. I'm so glad that I made that decision for myself because as my mom said to me recently, when I questioned, did I make the right decision? She says, are you kidding me?
You'd be in a mental institution if you were still in that position and she's not wrong. So I think that yes, we need to give people some grace in some situations if they can't show up and they don't make it for something. However, if you go out to a sporting event, let's say that I go to a game. Let's say I'm going to I don't know. Let's say I go to an Eagles game like a Monday night game.
Kate (05:02.286)
And I know they go late, but then I just don't go to practice the next morning. That's not a great example. I'm going to give you an example. Let's say that you go out to a baseball game. We're going to stick with the summer because I gave you that summer example, me showing up to my summer job.
Kate (05:32.654)
Let's say you go to a baseball game. Maybe it is a professional game and it's a night game. Then the next morning you decide, I'm really tired. I don't feel like going to practice. And you don't go. And you give the excuse of, well, I was out last night. My friends and my aunt was in town and my grandma, we all went to this, you know, Yankees game, the Phillies game.
So I'm not going to be there this morning. And at least you let the coach know, right? That's your motto. I'm not cool with that. I'm really not cool with it. And maybe I'm too tough, but I think that you should put your sneakers on and get to practice. I really think that you had practice and you knew that you had practice. You made a commitment. You should be there.
And I think that coaches sometimes feel like we have to say, okay, thanks for letting me know. And really they're pissed and they can't say anything because then it's like you get an email or somebody is like, my goodness, I can't believe you said that to my kid. And they told you it was my grandmom's 79th birthday. I get it. And if it actually conflicted with the practice time, let's say practice was in the middle of this baseball game.
and this was for grandmom's birthday, that's different. I'm actually okay with that. But if it was last night and now you're not coming to the, I don't know, nine o 'clock practice, whatever, the next day, I think this is a problem. I really think that we need to say to our kids, we need to, I really think we need to say to our children, show up. Showing up is huge.
And yes, I guess you could go back and say like, Kate, well, you really shouldn't have been out partying and all that crazy stuff. Sure. Sure. And maybe it is a generational thing. I don't know. Send me a message. Is this a generational thing? Is this because of COVID? I was talking about this with somebody via text message. She actually is a teacher.
Kate (07:53.71)
Not within the district that I taught in. So if anyone's listening to this, it's no one that you know who I used to teach with. She actually teaches in a totally different state. So don't start trying to go down the list of who might have said that to Kate. She teaches in a different state. In her exact words were kids are soft. She's a coach also. And she said that her athletes have done this too. Because I am shocked by it when my own children tell me.
Like this person didn't show up to practice because of this. Or this person skipped the meet. She was out with her boyfriend. We see her walking down the street. I'm like, isn't that so and so on your team? Or my son will be like, this kid couldn't come because of this situation.
Kate (08:45.55)
The next thing I'm saying is I have something going on later. So let's say you had that practice at 9 a I can't make it.
Kate (09:00.814)
The next issue I see with this commitment is I have something going on later, so I can't do this now. You need the whole damn day because you're going to do something five hours from now so you can't show up for practice or you can't come to the morning meeting or whatever it is because you have this later? Are you kidding?
What is happening? I really think that we need to start talking about time management. It's such a simple tool and commitment. If we need to fix this commitment thing, maybe it's time management. And it's got to be some sort of self -awareness and dedication. We got to do something about this because when they get older, when this is starting younger and as they're getting older,
I actually had someone do something for my business. And I kid you not, they told me they needed to take a nap. And that's why they didn't get it done.
And at first, I thought, okay.
She's not feeling well. Let me just give her some grace. But after the nap, she still didn't feel like doing it. She actually put that in an email to me. After my nap, I just still wasn't feeling it. So I'm gonna get back to it next week.
Kate (10:43.406)
I didn't know what to do with that. I think I read it probably 47 times just staring at that email and reading it over and over again. And this was a small project that this person was working on for me. And I thought, why would I ever bring this person to work on a bigger full -time
or even part -time capacity for me if they're doing this small contract at work for me and they're one telling me, you know, I had to take a nap. I wouldn't even have told the person. I wish she hadn't even have said I had to take the nap and maybe that's toxic. You know, coming from that toxic work environment, I did have a glimpse of, I did have a moment of, I don't want to be a toxic.
I did have a moment where I was thinking, don't be toxic towards. I did have a moment where I was thinking to myself, don't be toxic towards this person because I came from a work environment that was very toxic. But.
It just didn't sit well with me with the. I took a nap. And then after the nap, I just didn't feel like it just didn't feel like it. So I didn't. I didn't do what I said I was going to do. It didn't do my work and. There's one part of there's one part of me that says, OK, she's 100 % honest right now. But then the last part of.
I'll get to it next week. Are you kidding? There's no commitment there.
Kate (12:37.326)
This type of behavior is so problematic because I am left with a thought of this person is not willing to put in the work. And really consistency separates those who are at the top of anything. Those who aren't willing to do the work are not going to do well. And this goes with athletics. This goes with business.
This goes with relationships. This goes with life. You know, when I'm working with my clients and someone says to me like, he doesn't respond back to me. He doesn't give me an answer. If they care about you, they should respond. Somebody gives you time if you're important. If something is important to you, you make time for it. Right? So if
People are saying to themselves, or maybe I can't, I don't have the time. What they should be saying is, I will make time. I will, I can.
This is a huge problem and I really think the solution is changing how we think. We need to change to those, I will, I can, I will make time. Related to the time management. You need to schedule it in and stick with it. And if something comes up and you don't feel well and you have to take a nap, you can be honest about it, but then say, I'm gonna do it now or I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I'm not.
I'm gonna get to it next week, whenever I feel like it, or I'm just not gonna show up, because last night was grandmom's birthday. What?
Kate (14:21.966)
can't. And if you are the person who is saying to your kid, well, yeah, you know, we're going to go away. We're going to head to the shore later this afternoon for two weeks. And I want you to wash your whites and pack them up. Why didn't she do that yesterday? You knew you were doing something later today. You knew you were going to the shore.
Or even if we're going to the pool later today, I'm not gonna go to practice this morning. I'm not gonna do my work this morning. I can't make it to the meeting. I can't schedule this. What? Do not tell your kid or the people that you're hiring if it's a contracted work situation or it is somebody who's working for you and your staff, your team. Do not set the bar so low.
that you say, okay, well thanks for letting me know, because you are teaching them how to treat you.
I very politely told that person, I really need this to get done this week. I understand that you're not feeling well. What exactly is the plan? Have you scheduled this in for first thing Monday morning? And then when I hear nothing back, and by the way, this wasn't even the end of the week. We're talking middle of the week too here, by the way, should throw that in in the story.
I finally just said, I'm gonna do it myself. And guess what? I ended that relationship and I am not ever going to have them do anything for me again. And when I was in the coaching capacity of a head coach situation, when a player didn't show up because she was doing something last night and she just was feeling a little tired today,
Kate (16:26.446)
So after school, she wasn't staying for practice. She was just gonna get home because she just wanted to chill. Guess what? You're sitting the first quarter.
Totally different if you had a college visit, you gave me a heads up you're not gonna be here because of that. That's totally different. It's totally different if it was actually grandmom's birthday celebration during the practice and you, your mom, whoever reached out to me like three weeks ago. Totally different. But don't tell me the day before, the day of, or even after practice, that's even worse. Don't tell me that because for every action,
There should be a reaction and a consequence and that's good, bad. Consequences aren't always bad, by the way. And for the ones who are showing up, and this goes for school too, sometimes my kids come home and tell me things that happen in classes and I just shake my head thinking, what? That other student did what? And I understand sometimes as an educator,
in a classroom that many of the children brought some baggage that was deep and brought some serious issues into the school walls and then into my classroom that sat right with them in the desks that you had to love each kid differently. I get it. But when you're not paying attention to the kid who's actually doing their work in the classroom, the kid who is actually showing up for practice, the kid who is
not missing things for legitimate reasons. I'm not saying a kid who's missing for legitimate reason should have any type of like negative consequence. But the kids who are showing up all the time and the people who work for you within your business, I don't care how small or how big, they're your full -time employees, a contracted employer, a contracted situation where you bring someone in to build your social media, do whatever it is for you.
Kate (18:35.31)
or you have someone come and build a deck in your backyard and they actually do a good job. Whatever it is that you're doing. And these people show up on time and you decide to use them again or the kids are at practice and you are actually, I guess we'll call it rewarding them. Meaning you hire them for another job. They're the ones you look at when you have to put someone in a responsible, they're the person you look at when you put.
in a position with more responsibility. They're the athlete you look at when you want to dedicate some time to, let's see what we can do to make you a better athlete. Or at very minimum, you're saying to them, thanks for showing up. I'm not saying you have to give someone a parade because we should show up. In many ways, I think it should just be a given. But it's not. It's not a given.
and the other people see it. The other athletes see it. The other people will work for you. Like maybe not in this contract situation because people don't necessarily know if I'm hiring someone to do a social media thing for me. Obviously other people don't know unless they're in my company. They don't know that this person is a hot mess express, right? But
Definitely, I'm not bringing them in to do a bigger job, right? So there's no reward, so to speak, there. But somebody who does do something great for me, I'm going to shout it from the rooftops. I'm going to put them on social media. I'm going to maybe even put in my email a little blurb. This person's awesome. Look what she did for me. This person, you know, fixed my deck or did whatever. Look how awesome it looks. And they showed up every day on time.
And if life does happen, something happens. Give them a shout out for that too. Right? Car breakdown. They let me know. They came later that night. Came the next day. Stayed a little late. And I'm not, I'm not saying like your whole life has to be wrapped around your work and your sport and things like that. Cause balance is so important, of course. And you know, I'm totally against the toxic environments, but something's wrong.
Kate (20:53.134)
with commitment and consistency. And I think the solution is start with that time management thing. If you're the person who might have an issue, start with the time management, change your words to I will, I can. And the people who are given a pass, stop signing your signature on that pass. Stop. As a matter of fact, rip up the passes. Rip them up. Stop giving them out.
you will actually be a lot happier because I know you're pissed as the coach, as the business owner, as the person in the relationship, as the employee, as the coworker, as the parent, as the neighbor. I mean, there's so many different examples of this, right? You're pissed and some of you aren't saying it because you feel like you can't because someone else is going to complain, right? I don't know where it started. Not sure how long it's been going on.
I'm just noticing a lot. And I'm not saying that everybody should go out to the bar tonight, get a stamp on their hand and show up with only three hours of sleep. But I do think you gotta do something. Because if not, we're gonna be in a lot of trouble. I'm gonna be real old. Hopefully just, you know, enjoying my retirement, but I'm gonna be sitting there shaking my head thinking, woo, I guess nobody listened to that time management tip because.
We got a lot of issues with commitment and consistency. All right, well, I'm going to leave with a positive note. I want to give a shout out to all of the people that always show up. You or the MVPs, those coaches that show up off season to do the training, the ones that are there preseason. Some of you are even there when it's not preseason. My God, I see my daughter's track coach. He's like there in.
The winter and the spring is the track coach, but he's there now when it's, I don't know, the summer season, but he's there. I see like with the sprinters and I asked her, why is he there? She said, yeah, he's working with the sprinters. I mean, there's people that show up all the time. So let's not take this the wrong way. There's tons of athletes, tons of coaches, tons of people that show up all the time and do a fricking amazing job. I got my.
Kate (23:19.022)
Hairdresser, she had to get surgery and her daughter did my mom's hair coloring a couple weeks ago here because she was gonna be out. Obviously, you get hand surgery and you're a hairdresser. You can't be doing people's hair, right? So her daughter, who's also a hairdresser now, did my mom's color, right? It's showing up. Like, I know you can't be looking crazy. Let's figure out how we can make your hair look good. People like that. Like, they show up.
So shout out to those people that are showing up. I feel like this podcast episode was somewhat of a, I don't know, venting session in some ways. I must be feeling annoyed about some things, but I feel like it's an issue. But I do think that so many of you show up. So if you agree with this podcast, don't be calling them out necessarily. We're not trying to anger them.
So if you know somebody who shows up, give them a shout out. I want to end on a positive note. Give those people a shout out because there are plenty of people that show up. There's plenty of people that do have a commitment and have a consistent thing going on. And I think that it's important to end on a positive. So thank you for all of you people that show up because you are the ones that are going to teach the rest of them how to do it.
All right, everyone, thanks for hanging out on Kate McCauley unplugged and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. I'll see you next episode.
